Monday, August 15, 2011

Still looking...

The school year is coming up and all I have to say is that I have a job, for three months, at the "country club of high schools".  After those three months of sort of decent pay, I will then be unemployed once again.  Sure, I really appreciate that they are giving me a chance...again.  I worked at this school with the same position for two months last year hoping I'd obtain a salary job.  But, alas, all of the "of course you'll get hired" and the "so many teachers are retiring, it would only make sense for you to get the job" encouragement didn't pan out.  I guess all of the positive talk about me fell on deaf ears when it reached administration.  Oh well, I'm sick of complaining and bitchin' and moanin' so I better "nut up or shut up" (thanks to Jason and Zombieland).

Speaking of zombies...I sometimes witness some weird things pretty much every day and today was not any different.  I went grocery shopping with my mother today (sad, I know, but I still live at home...even sadder, yes) and all of the lights were out.  We have been getting a lot of random yet strong thunder and lightening storms and I guess it hit the local food store.  As we walked around the creepy and darkened aisles of the local grocery store, I could not help but to think this would be a PERFECT setting for a zombie movie.  Ready?  Lights, scene, action!

Setting:  Darkened grocery store
Characters: A mom and a little boy
Scene:  Mom is grocery shopping and pushing around her little boy while he is sitting in the child seat of a shopping cart


Boy:  Mommy, why are all the lights out?
Mom:  Must have been a storm, but it's OK..I'm right here.  That's weird...it looks like no one is really working here today.  Must be because of the storm.  So, what would you like for your breakfast?  Cheerios or Raisin Bran?
Boy:  Can I have some of those Pop-Tarts?
Mom:  No, no honey...they are full of sugar and will rot your teeth out.
Boy:  Oh Mommmmmm, c'mon...pleaseee
Mom:  Nope...how about some nice Raisin Bran instead?
Boy:  (Huffs and puffs) That stuff is icky!!!

The boy, ignoring his mother's words, reaches his tiny hand out of the cart to grab the sugary tarts.  As he reaches, something grabs back.

Boy:  AHHHHHHHHH!!!! MY HAND!!! MY HANDDDD!!!

Out of the cereal and Pop-Tart boxes of aisle seven comes a a rotting, grotesque-looking person that looks like they work at the store.  His name tag reads "Ted" and he has fed on about two people at this point and is craving some dessert.  All of a sudden, the mother sees Ted and begins to scream.  She turns around and sees more people slowly walking towards her and her son, their skin seeming to melt off their bodies as they venture to find more flesh to replace their own.  As they come closer, the perimeter around mother and son becomes tighter and tighter.  She screams.  Lights out.




This story and many other scenarios popped into my head as I walked around the store today with Mom.  Plus, while I was running on my treadmill down in the basement this morning, we lost power and all of the appliances went bonkers.  Try running on a treadmill at a steady and sweaty pace and it just suddenly shutting on and off, the lights flicker, the TV going nuts, and the stereo systems CD changer popping in and out.  That will certainly get your heart rate up more than any work-out.  Between my haunted basement scene and my zombie-esque shopping experience, I feel like I've had enough paranormal tricks played on me for one day, even if it was just the electricity being shotty. 


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